It's been a long time

So...I knew it had been a long time since I wrote anything...and having Ashley start blogging...has inspired me again. This blog started out as a way to express my "spiritual" feelings. I don't really like writing in a journal...although I have lots of them in various places....and a few thoughts here an there...that I've written down over the years...but I wanted my family to know how I felt about things that I don't often talk about. I guess I figured after I'm gone...that my kids/grandkids would magically discover the things I had written. Not the greatest idea.
I know that seeing the few things that my Mom wrote down has been really special. Seeing her thoughts, in her own words definitely means a lot.

I think we all feel that our lives are mostly just plain and simple....nothing too exciting going on...but I guess it's those things that make our lives what they are. I know in writing down my feelings, I'm able to express how important my family is to me. Our family is always so sarcastic....we don't often "bear testimony" of each other....that I wanted a way to tell them how I feel. I just read a poem that my Granddad had written about his four granddaughters, me being one of them. I told Steve how wonderful it was to read "how" he saw me. He says,
"There's Betty, with her disposition sunny" and it made me wonder.....do I have a sunny disposition...still??? This was from 1960....or have the years eaten away at that young girl and tuned her more callous? I hope, that in some small way, I'm still the girl he knew and loved and that he would know me if he suddenly saw me today. I always knew that my Granddad loved me unconditionally....he's been gone since 1960....but his memory and the things he taught me are with me each and every day. My Grandmom was the same way. I truly believe, that from them, I learned how to be a grandparent. I don't think I'm nearly as great as they were....but I try. I know what an influence my grandparents had on me....and I know how important they still are in my life. I LOVE this big circle of family that surrounds us...both here and beyond!! I think it's one of the greatest gifts that Heavenly Father has given us. I remember when Ashley was born....I actually prayed (can't believe I did this)...but that I wouldn't have any more grandchildren because I didn't think I could love them as much as I loved Ashley. I learned when the 2nd and 3rd and beyond and then the greats.....Clara and Max....that our hearts keep expanding and I love Max equally as much as I loved his Mom the first time I held her in my arms. Family makes us crazy and family keeps us going!!!